Heaven

Jesus, the loving Shepherd

Growing up in the Catholic Church I was always surrounded by pictures of Jesus and for the most part I found them very reassuring.
Being an animal lover from my very earliest memory made this picture of Jesus loving the little lamb  always my favorite.  I had heard and understood the story of the good shepherd leaving his flock of 99 to search for the missing 1 early in my childhood and it left me feeling safe and cared for.  I also had a very sweet Grandmother who lived with us until I was ten and she loved to make Bible stories come alive. She had a French Canadian background and always spoke Jesus in French which sounds so sweet and endearing.
So the thought of Heaven being some awesome family farm in the country where a very kind French Jesus tends to all the animals is the sweet picture I had for most of my young life.

Laughing Jesus!

I love to laugh.  Some of my best memories are of times where I laughed till I cried at a story being told by someone in my family, we all love to laugh.  I know my Mom taught me how to see the humor in life, she would just look at me and raise an eyebrow in a questioning kind of way and I would crack up, then we would both crack up and oh how good it would feel to just let the endorphins flow.  We laugh a lot at this house, it's probably the biggest thing our in-law children have had to get used to, hardly a dinner goes by without some old (or new) funny story, usually about a sibling, coming to light then it happens, loud, head tossing, knee slapping laughter.  Nothing is better.
I like to think about Jesus laughing, sitting around a fire with is dearest friends and telling some funny story, (did you see that Pharisee trip over his robe today?) and everybody laughing until the tears rolled.  Sometimes you just have to laugh, even in troubled times.


Our sweet baby Olivia went to Heaven 73 days
 ago, she has been gone as long as she was here and I still miss her so much. I catch myself looking at babies in the stores and thinking "she would be that size now", "she would be doing these things now".
 I still think about her a lot.  One of the things I think about is what is she doing in Heaven? What is Heaven like for a baby?
The Bible does say some things about Heaven but nothing I can really wrap my head around, streets of gold, diamond and sapphire cities, many mansions, winged worshipers. Nothing I can really get a picture of, nothing I can relate to. I just really wish I could get a glimpse.
Yesterday I got this picture in an email from one of my cousins, I really like this one.  So today when I think of Olivia being in Heaven the picture I have is of a very happy little girl sitting with a very kind and loving Jesus, I think maybe he is telling her a story about a little sheep on a french farm and any minute now they are both going to burst out in uncontrollable giggles.  That sounds like Heaven to me.

Shamu Family Fun Walk

Team Livie's Heart!

Today was the Shamu Family Fun Walk to benefit Rady Children's Hospital.
Rady is where Olivia was treated.
We are Team Livie's Heart;  we are 88 strong and we raised close to $4,000.00 for the hospital.
What a Kick!
We are not special or famous, we are just a family that had a very sick baby, who went to heaven after only 73 days with us.  But she inspired us and look what has come of it!
Old friends reunited, Cary it was so great to see you again and to meet your family. New friends like Heather and Brooke who are now just like family.  Family that has been absent but is now back like Tiffany and her beautiful children and new friends like Beka and Rachel who we share a special spot with as they continue their journeys and challenges with their special little ones, and really way too many more to mention here.
Thank you all for being a part of my life

My beautiful daughter, Crystal my hero...

Papa and Evie, ready to Go!

Now that the "race" is over I'm a little numb, not only because I've been up since 4AM!  But, what next?  Olivia's journey has taken me places I didn't know I could go, I have learned things that I didn't even know I didn't know! These last seven months have been so consumed with so much emotion and now it seems so quiet.

Crystal, Kim, Me and Heather

Next weekend we start looking for a place for Kimmie and Ed's wedding in the spring.  I am so happy for them and so excited about another wedding (aka a GREAT reason to party).

So I guess for now I will try to appreciate the lull in activity and rest up, the adventures are never too far apart at "Mammy's House".

"Mammy, I don't feel good"

Every mother knows the feeling of being woken up with the words "Mommy, I don't feel good"....  Oh how I hate those words!  It has been my experience over the last 33 years that that statement is the preliminary to at least 24 hours of agony. Yes for both the child murmuring and Mommy, or in this case Mammy.
Erik and I have 8 children spread over 19 years, we categorize them into two groups, the "big" kids; Kenny, Crystal, Kelly, Mike and Kim, and the "younger" kids; Shawn, Katie and Caleb.  We really have raised one family and are now raising another one as well as now being pretty active with grandkids too.  All that to say, I have heard this statement many times.
When my "big" kids were young they were great about being sick in the right spot.  I had them trained to run to the bathroom BEFORE they came into my room to announce their tummy troubles.  I was very spoiled.
Our younger kids have not been so kind.  Shawn and Katie could never make it to the bathroom to save their little souls, maybe they were such sound sleepers they just woke up too late.  

Feel better soon Macen....

Caleb was born with an immature esophagus and that is just a whole other story but we were able to train him to grab a trash can on his way.

This morning my grandson Macen, who is spending the weekend here, woke up early.  I was already up and just knew my day had taken a turn when his first words were "Mammy, I don't feel good"!  He was telling the truth.  So here we are 4 hours later, Papa has already made the emergency run to the store for 7-up, the washer and dryer are in full force and sweet, sweet Macey Boy is back asleep on the couch.  I seem to be having a lot of Dejavu lately, I wonder if that is just what happens when we get older.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Albert Einstein..(1879 - 1955)

A long time ago one of my favorite self quotes was "reality is an illusion".  Maybe I had heard the Albert Einstein quote but I can't really say.  It makes perfectly good sense to me.  We all pick the reality we want to live in and project but it does not make it true.

Turf the perfect terrier

 I can say that my dogs are perfect, to me they are,
but to someone else their shedding and barking would disqualify them as their "perfect" pet.
See my reality is really also my illusion.
Hmmmm, just thinkin.

Four Funerals and a Wedding!

Kimmy and Ed are getting married!

It is with great excitement that I can now
say Kimberly, our child # 5 is engaged!
Ed has been "in the family" for a while
now so he knows what we are all about
and still his love for Kim won out.  ;-)


We (as a family) have gone through and done a lot this last year, I absolutely can not believe it was barely a year ago that Crystal and I ran the Disney Half Marathon, that Erik and I flew to Tenn. where our grand daughter, Selah was in Children's Hospital, that 10 months ago we found out that Crystal was pregnant with Olivia, that 9 months ago we remodeled two upstairs bedrooms and 19 year old Shawn moved back home, that 7 months ago we found out Olivia was coming with a heart defect, that 5 months ago my sweet cousin Debbie passed away, that 3.5 months ago Olivia was born and that 4.5 weeks ago she went to heaven, that 2.5 weeks ago we found out Crystal was expecting again, that Jerry K and Uncle Hank were both laid to rest this month, that just 5 days ago we found out Kelly is expecting again and tonight Kim got engaged!
Holy Moly!

I think having a big family is fabulous, eight children, all wonderful sweet kids with awesome spouses and perfect children.   I am so blessed.
This last year has been harder than most but I feel the tide turning now, thank you Jesus for the change of seasons, not just wonderful fall (my favorite) but the seasons of life too.
I am excited about looking ahead.

Kim and Ed, engaged!

DeJaVue

Selah Jo at almost 1year.

Happy 1st Birthday Selah Jo


Today is my grand daughter Selah Jo's first birthday. Unfortunately Selah lives in Mississippi so we can't join in her big party,but we will have our own party for her when she visits in November.

Selah's "birth" day!

Last year when Selah was born we were all so happy, Kelly and Nathan already had Judah and Eli and were so happy to get their little princess. We had had a scare early in Kelly's pregnancy when the Drs thought there might be a problem but she had been cleared of those issues and things were looking rosy.
At least for 24hrs; everything was going just fine  but then the Drs. discovered Selah had a heart defect. Oh how I remember getting the call that she was being air lifted to a children's hospital. Kelly was so scared and so were we.  Erik and I and Kimberly were able to catch a red eye flight out that night to be with Kelly and Nathan while Selah went through all the tests.
Poor baby Selah, poor Mommy and Daddy and poor us.  There is nothing fun about having a sick baby.  

Judah and Eli 

We did have a little silver lining in getting to see the grand boys again after about a year. Oh how I love little boys, so full of life and energy.  It sure isn't easy not being close to them.

Well the Drs decided that Selah didn't need the surgery they thought she would and they were able to fix her main problem in a cath lab procedure.  What a relief, she may need more attention as she grows but for right now Selah is OK.  After a tearful goodbye Papa and I were back on a plane to California, leaving a little piece of our hearts in Mississippi.

The following weekend after we got back Justus and Crystal celebrated their anniversary weekend and I stayed with Ezra and Evie.  I love staying with my grandkids for the weekend. We always do things that Mom and Dad don't do!  Usually the first night we skip the bath time routine, we stay up late eating popcorn or pizza or something fun and watch movies until everybody is asleep on the floor. Being a Grandma is really the BEST thing ever.

Well it wasn't too long after that anniversary weekend that we found out Crystal was pregnant with our precious Olivia, little did we know then that in less than one year we would be sitting in a Children's Hospital again.  Most of you know that Olivia's story did not go like Selah's, Selah got to come home after 3 weeks and Olivia went home to heaven after 73 days. We lost more than just a little piece of our heart this time.

Mammie's Ez!!

Now, I am sitting here again at Crystal and Justus's, they are on their anniversary weekend get away, Selah Jo is one year old and doing well, Crystal is pregnant, Ezra and Evie got a new puppy and yes we did skip the bath routine tonight and we ate pizza and everybody fell asleep on the floor.
This last year we have been through a lot as a family
but right this very minute
 "Life is good".

Oh Happy Day

Oh the Joy!  The joy I felt when I opened this little box.  Crystal and Justus are having another baby.  She hasn't seen the Dr. yet but calculates the baby to be here in April.
We are all rejoicing!

And today as well as rejoicing we were also painting.  Evie's room got a fresh coat of "purpleishis and twinkle toe".  Oh my goodness it is so cute and sweet in there you could get a toothache!

Evie is wondering what part of "Princess " I don't understand..

That sewing machine is old but
still get the job done!

Of course in this family nobody gets a free pass
so Ezra and Evie got busy with the brushes helping
daddy while Crystal was sewing new curtains.

Ezra, daddy's helper.

Next week the new toddler bed and reading tent should be here.
I can hardly wait to curl up on the new purple pillows and read to these cutie pies..
I am a lucky Mammy!
Proverbs 17:6 "Grandchildren are the crown of old men (and women)"