Just one week ago Erik and I were basking in the beauty of San Diego enjoying the pretend life. But peace is never long staying in my world. You might say there is an explosion just waiting around every corner. My most recent explosion must remain private for now but I do think that if your heart is exploded too many times "all the kings horses and all the kings men can't put it back together again", and I think I am close to not being together.

This last weekend we held the memorial for Debbie, it was nice, we were able to share some nice family memories and laughs. Like when Aunt BettyAnn had John Thomas take the canister of Debbie's ashes outside and put them next to mom because Mom and Debbie would always go out to smoke together! Ha...
I do miss being around my family, they really know how to laugh. I need to laugh more.
I don't 'feel' much like laughing lately.
I would like to do a study on that, you know, find out if there is some secret to feeling happy.
I know my 'joy' is in the Lord, and I understand that happiness comes and goes, I just wonder where mine has gone??

Del Mar

This has been a marvelous weekend, Saturday we went to Balboa Park. Balboa Park is one of my favorite places, the gardens, the fountains, the museums, we spent the afternoon there but could have been there all day. It was so beautiful.

We had to stop for groceries and didn't get home till about eight, ready to snuggle down for the night. Kaitlyn called kind of upset, she was just leaving school in Fullerton and noticed her 'fluids low' light was on. UGH! Erik directed her to a Pep Boys close to where she was and between him on the Internet, her in her manual and me on the phone we got her through it, PTL God was gracious once again she made it home and we were all able to get a good nights sleep.
Today we decided to stay close and rest, we had a very quiet morning then went for a wonderful walk this afternoon. Del Mar is a beautiful little town with nice walking streets we went up about a half mile stopping at little pet boutiques and a yummy yogurt shop with a quaint courtyard in the back, we were able to enjoy our yogurt and each others company in the beautiful beach weather.
On the way back we detoured down to a park on the bluffs where there were two wedding parties, on reception and one taking pictures, Ahhh young love.
After another detour down to the water and some wonderful rock picking we came back to the little house for our last night as irresponsible adults. A late nap, a little wine now a late dinner with a beautiful sunset. Tomorrow it is back to reality.

Erik and I are at our little timeshare in Del Mar, its one in the morning. I guess Starbucks at 10:30 at night was a pretty silly idea but hey we're on vacation, two rebels alone in the big city. We can drink coffee any time we want! :-)
This is a very nice little one bedroom condo, Erik has owned it for about 20 years, little is the key word. We like coming here when we can sneak away without the kids, we get to pretend we're young and unencumbered again. Ha!
We've left the three kids at home with refried beans in the cupboard and hotdogs in the frige, and no limits on video games and TV movies, we will all be having a great weekend.
Tomorrow we are going to head south to the Balboa Park area, we love it there. We both love to see all the different gardens and fountains etc. it will be a fun day. We're going to try to work in another visit to Blue Water Grill and take back the shoe inserts I got at Roadrunner a couple of weeks ago. I better try to get some sleep.

Sweet Debbie

My dear sweet cousin Debbie passed away yesterday, she was only 48 years old. Debbie was the middle child of my Dad's brother Bill, she is Sonja and Gail's sister.
I'm an only child, it is so lonely, sometimes I wish I had a sister.
Debbie moved away from Palm Springs about the same time as I did, I guess that makes us the rebels. :-) She was such a strong and funny person, I really did love her. It's funny how when I was younger I never reached out to my family like I should have, I do now. I wish I had done it more, there really is nothing like having family.
I will miss you Debbie, I will miss your laugh.

Ahhhh, Love

Today we went to Erik's niece's engagement party. Natalie has found her prince and he has truly turned her into a princess. She and I talked at length today and I was amazed at her transformation from a giggly school girl into this charming young lady full of hopes and dream and plans for the future. Ahhh, to be in love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 The Excellence of Love
"1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never fails; ....... 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Love is not easy, believe me I know. I hope and pray that Natalie and David will always look to Jesus for their example of love and not to any of this worlds standards.

Seapoint II

What a crazy week, Caleb and I headed home on Tuesday afternoon after one day of "lazy" at the timeshare, Erik had told us that Sally our old Labrador was acting pretty sick. I called the vet and got her an appointment for Wed. afternoon, she definitely was acting scary sick, she was vomiting, couldn't walk, had head tilt and her eyes wouldn't focus! I really thought we were at the end of her road.

Wednesday morning I had a wonderful time with the grand kids playing in the front in the grass and garden. There is just something about being outside and in the dirt that is good for the soul. All of the veggi seeds that Ezra helped me plant are starting to poke through, oh boy zucchini, squash and green beans!

Crystal picked up the kids at 3 and Caleb and I headed to the vet with Sally, great news, an easy fix with anti inflammatory for her brain. She is doing better already.

Crystal and Justus heard from Dr. Inger Olsen Olivia's consult physician, and the news is not great, Olivia may have even more obstacles but none of that now.

Thursday was our first day back at ICAP after a 2week Easter break, my heart is not really in school right now but the kids are great and it was good to see all my friends, so many people are praying for us.

Today is Friday, the week is gone already. Today I worked on Olivia's little heart blanket, it makes me so happy to be able to be making something for my little Livie and I love it. It's all done and ready to be washed and wrapped, I hope Crystal likes it.

Well here it is 10:30PM and Erik and I are finally back at Seapoint, the adventure is never over for us, on the way down tonight the truck shook and shimmied until we had to pull over and call AAA, all we could do was laugh, of course the wait was over an hour, thank goodness for fb mobile and bejeweled. When the tow truck finally arrived Erik turned on the truck and wallah! No problem... So off we went into the sunset, (well not really, it was dark by this time) to our wonderful little timeshare by the beach, Erik is reading and relaxing and here I sit reliving it all not really understanding anything that is going on right now but truly believing that God is in control.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Carlsbad Seapointe

Caleb and I are spending a few days in Carlsbad at our timeshare. What a blessing, this place is so beautiful, we love it.

Vacations are funny things though, if I just go and do nothing I come home feeling refreshed and rested but I always feel kind of cheated out of something "fun". If I end up doing a lot of "fun" things I go home exhausted. Such a dilemma.

These last few days have been pretty

restful, yesterday Crystal went to

another doctor visit at Rady so I

watched the kids here, that was fun there is a fun little playground for them and of course just being in a different place is fun for kids. We also got to BBQ and have a yummy dinner with Justus and Crystal after the appointment. God is good to us.

Tonight we go back home for two days to work and go to ICAP then I am coming back alone for a couple days to work on curriculum in a quiet uninterrupted environment, I am hoping to get all of next years first semester for all three of my classes at least penciled out. We'll see.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.